Just Call me "Rooster"
In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit; Amen.
Some years ago, I found the Lord in a big way. I came to realize that living for me, was a lonely way to survive and it would lead to my certain death. I was in my 30's, and by all of today's measurements, I had failed at life. Things that I had held so tightly were now slipping away. I had succumbed to accept the title of a failure.
You see, I had been a church going man but had not surrendered my will to the Lord. I was asked by my Pastor to go away for the weekend with a bunch of other Christian men and hoped that I would not have to talk about feelings and stuff. But since everything was going wrong in my life, I accepted the invitation. Once there, I tried to blend in with the crowd and tried to go unnoticed. I didn't know that so many men had given up their weekend of football and family activities to share their life-struggles and failures with us, the men who had been invited and the ones who were still in control of their lives.
I discovered that I no longer needed to hide my passions under the rug or blame my behaviors on others. I could now declare that I am a sinner in need of a Savior and with the help of my Creator, I can change my ways. Well, needless to say, I have a long way to go.
I share this story with you today because the Gospel reading speaks directly to this battle that I am still fighting. Deny myself by putting others first? Take up my cross and correct my behaviors that I have learned and that limit me; and then last of all, follow Christ.
My intentions are good but the deep rut of my behaviors and passions pull me away from God. I am so moved by the story of Peter. He loved the Lord so much, but yet he denied knowing Christ, and the rooster crowed. I too, love the Lord so much and then I deny Him and fall back into the rut, and the rooster crows.
Becoming more like Christ means that we must accept the reality that every time that we sin, we are denying Christ. We are here for a purpose. We were created in the icon of God. We were created to know the Holy Trinity, intimately, and the whole purpose of our time on earth is to know God. The world is dying, we must choose life.
The first commandment says: "Thou shalt have none other gods before me." [Deut 5:6] And then I reflect upon all the things that separate me from God, and realize that I am an adulterer, and again, the rooster crows. Adultery is a terrible sin of betrayal, dishonesty, uncleanness. 38"For whosoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this generation, the adulterous and sinful one, also the Son of Man shall be ashamed of him, whenever He should come in the glory of His Father with the holy angels." [Mk. 8:38] The Lord here speaks of adultery as being a loss of intimacy. "Thou shalt have none other gods before me."[Deut 5:6] I find myself conflicted with choices entertaining the evil ones temptations, and the rooster crows.
On this Sunday of the Veneration of the Holy Cross, we must choose life. We must deny our passions and what the world tells us is real. We must make our relationship with God, our highest priority. It just isn't enough to be here and go through the motions. Surrender, sweet surrender to the one who loves you perfectly. Look beyond this world of mirrors and glitter and cling to with all your life, and with each and every breath to that which is real.
St John of Kronstadt said:
"Glory, O Lord, to the power of Thy Cross, which never fails! When the enemy oppresses me with a sinful thought or feeling, and I, lacking freedom in my heart, make the sign of the Cross several times with faith, suddenly my sin falls away from me, the compulsion vanishes, and I find myself free… For the faithful the Cross is a mighty power which delivers from all evils, from the malice of the invisible foe."
Glory to Thee who has shed his blood for me, a sinner!
Fr. Gabriel